my story :~)
For as long as I can remember rejection has always been my worst nightmare. In my neighborhood as a lil raging ADHD kid I was SUPER annoying - according to all the other kids. I hated it, I couldn't help who I was. I remember having a small group of girl friends in elementary school where they basically turned against me... mostly because I was annoying. I was just that kid. That fear of rejection really manifested a lot through out my life in different ways. As a teenager I used my body as a way to control that rejection - it worked... but did it really? It always felt like I wanted to be accepted by everyone, I just wanted to be liked. But who wouldn't? My energy was always put towards pleasing others, wanting to be liked, and my body.
It wasn't until one day in 2017 I decided to follow an art tutorial on YouTube (shout out Let's Make Art) that I realized how much I loved to paint. I also realized that I could actually be good at it if I wanted to... so I started painting and letting go of all the other demons that raged in my brain. Painting to me is my way of practicing radical acceptance. I now struggle with the throws that is social media, consumerism, capitalism, and making money off my art - that is an ongoing battle. As someone who struggles with rejection not getting likes or views PAINS me, so I step back when I need to. My art is meant to help me accept myself - fully and wholly. It's not about making money and paying bills and I can still dream of those things but focus on what my art does. I don't want my spirit crushed, so I need to nourish it.
That's what this space is about to me. Nourishing my soul, spirit, and mind. Accepting who I am. There are no branding rules here to convince you to purchase things from me. It's just me using it however I feel like it and hope you can connect to me - and if you can't that's a LIE U READ THIS FAR HAHA I CAUGHT YOU. we kinda connect don't we? love u